Putting the jam into jammy dodgers…poking the holes out of Polos…being a taste-tester for Pedigree Chum…

You’re unemployed, it’s a year since you graduated, and the above jobs are starting to look worryingly appealing. Don’t despair! I’m in exactly the same boat so I’ve gone and written a cheery old blog-aroo to jolt you out of the fetid little grief-hole that is your unemployed bed!

Seeing as I’ve got a lot of time on my hands, I thought I should use it productively (not that watching ‘The Crystal Maze,’ and following recipes from http://www.pimpthatsnack.com/ isn’t productive). So, I decided to write this blog which is all about unemployment.

You can look forward to screamingly funny anecdotes about my life as an unemployed 23 year old, living back at home in the cultural and cosmopolitan idyll that is Haywards Heath. There’ll be helpful tips on how to get a job (obviously not from me, because I haven’t got one - haha!). Plus I’ll be exploring mad-cap techniques on how to make your CV stand out (most of these techniques will be origami based, so be sure to have a supply of scrap-paper to hand).

If that little lot tickles your fancy then why not share your own unemployment japes? Interview gaffs...demoralising working environments…whatever it is, post it here and we can all have a laugh at your ill-qualified expense!

Thanks awfully for reading my blog, and remember: whether you’re lying in bed watching ‘Jeremy Kyle’ or applying for a job as a “fluffer” in the adult film industry, it’s all part of the fun of being “gainfully unemployed”!

Huge love,
xxx







Mad-Cap Job Applications

Gone are the days before sexual harassment was bad, when one could just flash a bit of leg to secure a job; nowadays we have to do a lot more to set us apart from other candidates. Take this wag for example: said candidate folded her CV and covering letter for Ted Baker into dear little origami shirts along with the exquisitely crafted conceit:

There’s nothing quite like the feel of a crisp new dress shirt…the scent of the finest quality cotton…the feel of substantial buttons…and all expertly tailored by British manufacturers.

Ted Baker knew quality when he saw it. Unfold this candidate’s portfolio and experience quality for yourself.

Unfortunately I – I mean, said candidate – didn’t get the job. The silly billy got so carried away with their origami-ing that they forgot to write the relevant details on the envelope meaning that their application didn’t reach the correct department on time.

Nonetheless, origami is still a widely recognised technique to get your application noticed by employers – particularly those based in the orient - so why not have a bash yourself by following the simple instructions in this link:

http://www.videojug.com/film/how-to-make-an-origami-shirt

Many thanks to the anonymous candidate who shared that one - I think you'll all agree they're pretty creative and maverick in their approach to job applications! If you have a similarly mad-cap story on how you got yourself noticed then please share it here. 
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